


The End of the F*cking World: As Told By Lisa

by Heyrrra



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Crack, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Guns, Red Velvet makes a cameo down the line, There's a lot of swearing, Violence, What Have I Done, Zombies, or what i think is humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-08 08:21:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21472945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heyrrra/pseuds/Heyrrra
Summary: Jenlisa, Chaesoo and zombies... need I say more?or my weird attempt at a zombie apocalypse fic because I think it's fun and sexy.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy, Jennie Kim/Lalisa Manoban | Lisa, Kim Jisoo/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé
Comments: 63
Kudos: 109





	1. Beginning of the End?

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a first in this style of writing for me, but I haaad looots of fun. Hopefully it's funny, because if not I'm probably embarrassing myself LOL. Anyways short multi-chaptered fic with zombies, and Jenlisa and a dash of Chaesoo.

“Head! Aim for the head! Not that head! but ooooh, that looked like it would've hurt if only he was half alive to feel it, but head Jennie! “ 

_ It _slumped into a weird, contorted shape, landing with a “slosh” on the wet, grimy floor covered with … blood.

* * *

Now… you might be wondering how we ended up in such a situation. It’s a funny story actually -- well, grim … now that I think about it, but going back. You see it was a Wednesday and just like any other regular Wednesdays I find myself doing stuff I’d probably regret later in the day. _ I did. _Which brings us to the next order of things...

“Well… this is a nice change of scenery.”

“It’s a prison cell.”

I knew she was rolling her eyes, even with her back turned. She always did whenever she was pissed off. 

“I was being sarcastic Jennie.”

“Now is not the time... you think?”

I kept my annoying mouth shut, there was no use talking to her when she’s upset. I know… I know… I should apologize, I’ve already though... mind you. How was I to know that sneaking her into a closed carnival was considered “trespassing”? We were merely… visiting, admiring, doing what one calls an “ocular inspection”, but you know… typical law enforcement. They just wouldn’t listen. So, spending the afternoon in a prison cell, with my ever adorable, ever grumpy, charismatic girlfriend. Perfect? Oh… very. 

“Hey baby, you still mad?”

“I’m never listening to any of your plans… ever.” 

_ Bzzzt...bzzzzt. _

_ Pound… pound _

Dear Lord, that sound was getting on my frayed nerves. There’s this small television, perched on top of the table. What’s even more exciting was the police officer, a charming man I must say… kept on hitting its side and it was getting annoying. All that pounding and all that static and all this sulking from my smol girlfriend. Catching up so far? Good… 

I reached for Jennie’s hands, but apparently she thinks I’m still not worthy of a little hand holding, what can a lonely girl do on her own inside a prison cell with her fuming girlfriend? Nothing… absolutely nothing. 

“We interrupt the afternoon with this important broadcast…”

Great, finally… one more pounding and I swear I would’ve lost it. Huh… there seems to be commotion and sirens … well.. I know it’s a news flash and those sounds are almost ever present but hear me out, would you? This one sounds… excessive… sounds nervous, scared? 

“We advise everyone to remain calm and to stay indoors. Busan has been in quarantine since ten this ….” the feed keeps cutting in and out, and Jennie was holding on to the bars.

“Hey babe…” I started

“Shhhh.”

“The military … and are… if you have any means of getting … please do …”

Don’t you just love it when the feed cuts off during the important parts? I do… oh I do… 

The TV report cuts off entirely and the police officer looks agitated, kept glancing at the entrance. Why? Well your guess is as good as mine. He turns to look at us, and damn I’d love to say he has everything figured out, big man, forties, well built. Gun… you know? The whole enchilada… but man.. He looked scared and what thing could possibly make someone as big as him scared? Well, we were about to find out the worst way possible. Stay tuned…

He fumbled for the keys that dangled on the wall just to his right. He took one look at me and another at Jennie and the next thing we know, he was fumbling with the lock on our cell. 

“Hey officer, you’re releasing us earlier than planned.”

Jennie gave me a cutting glance. Oops, now’s not the time to further aggravate her… but when was it a good time to aggravate her, really? 

“Can you shut up for once?” Her words stung, honestly… “Officer, thank you but..”

“Look, don’t ask questions. Go straight home and lock up.” 

“What? Why?”

“Didn’t you hear the guy?” I answered back under my breath

He kept glancing at the entrance and I could see the cold sweat on his forehead. Oooh that rhymed, didn’t it? 

“Look I wasn’t talking to you Mano-”

There were shouts and running...frantic running -- the kind that made you panic (even when you're only hearing it kind)… and gunshots? What the fuck? 

“Shit.” He almost drops the keys and tries again with shaky hands. 

“Officer, please… what’s going on?”

There was a huge crash, something like glass breaking and the door banging and growls… deep, guttural, animal-like growls. 

I pulled Jennie away from the bars and held her. You know, basic human instincts… She clung to my neck and if we weren’t as confused and scared as chickens who were about to be slaughtered I would have enjoyed it. 

The police officer pulled his gun out and took a couple of steps back… he was uh… basically against the bars of the cell. He keeps pointing the gun towards something, that something is probably the thing growling… he shoots a round and it hits _ the _something. I know, because it sounded like a dull thud. And dull thuds means something being hit. Don't question how I know, I just do. 

I can’t keep my eyes off of it, it happened in slow motion -- no shit, legit slow motion in front of me. He… or it… or whatever just lunged at the guy. Lunged! He was foaming in the mouth … like someone who swallowed a pint of those ... uh… liquid things one uses for cleaning and it was all bubbling, he was covered in what seemed to be… dried blood? Or what I think was dried blood. And oh fuck… Oh god, no… I hugged Jennie and kept her from seeing this… monstrosity in front of us, but boy I know … I know she was not one to back down from these kinds of things and so she swatted my hand away (imagine…) and instead bit into her lower lip to prevent herself from screeching. I literally thought I even peed a little. 

Who wouldn’t? You’ve probably seen a grizzly, equally disturbing, disgusting zombie flick, yeah? Well damn… ain’t this the most traumatic shit you could ever experience first hand. The police officer put up a fight, with his _ bare _ hands, his gun slid over closer to the wall. I know, he’s stupid for not running after it, but hey when someone as equally big as you flings themselves, rabidly trying to get a huge chunk of flesh off of you, you do what you can best. SURVIVE. The _ thing _was stronger though and eventually bit into the police officer's chest. Now I don’t know which was more unsettling the sound of muscle being ripped off or his blood curdling scream…

“Fuck! Fuck! What kind of shit is this?!” 

Jennie held my hand and her other one covered my obviously loud mouth. She was shivering and looked incredibly scared, couldn’t blame her. I was too… 

_ It _ continued to writhe and bit and tear into the now hollowed out breast of the police officer who twitched. It went on for what felt like ages… and we … looked on more from shock and none from curiosity, never from curiosity. _ It _ stood, probably content with its… dinner? And turned to look at us. Woooh boy, was it like looking death in the face… no death would’ve smiled, might’ve even welcomed you with a hug… _ it...it... _ looked straight at us, like at us but never really seeing us. Does that make sense? No? It’s kind of hard describing things when you’ve witnessed something so … unhinging. _ It _had white eyes, none of those irises..just plain white and the veins around the sockets bulged, like little snakes and the mouth stayed open, the jaw probably broken and blood and pieces of what I think were human tissues dripped. 

“Lisa…” Jennie whispered.

I nodded, gave her a brief glance and looked back at the _ thing. _

“I don’t think he can see us…” 

“Me too…” I whispered back, no I mouthed back at my pretty girlfriend. 

“What do we do?”

“I have an idea… stay here.” 

_ It _ was no longer looking at us, _ it _ looked like _ it _ was… confused, dazed, kept looking around the place with an odd angle to _ its _ ugly head. _ Ocular inspection, perhaps? _Okay… now’s not the time for jokes. 

I walked slowly, nimbly, careful not to make any sudden sounds and picked up this fine looking book off this equally fine looking table right beside this sole bed inside our cell. _ It _ was still clueless of what’s happening, I guess that’s normal when your brain’s non functional and your body was operating on this basic need to feed. The book was a paperback and I prayed to all the Gods I knew, both Thai and Korean that whatever it was I was planning would work. I put an arm out, through the spaces in between the bars. _ Brave? _I hope so, wouldn’t want it to be a stupid choice, really. That wasn’t an option. I swung it back and forth, quietly, and with all the strength I had, flung it across the hall hoping it would generate much sound or hit something that could. 

Jennie flinched, just as it hit a table close to the entrance which was sort of visible from my vantage point. It brought a picture frame with it and crashed into the tiled floor, it worked! _ It _ ran, crazily, like a drunk would... when he had far too much to drink towards the sound and heard distant screaming outside (thank heavens). _ It _scrambled, against the broken glass and into the street. Good. Now. What next? 

“Is it… Is it gone?”

“I … yeah .. yeah it is…”

“God, this is one crazy, hell of a day.”

She was walking back and forth, another mannerism she had when she was stressed. Damn who wouldn’t be at a time like this.

“We have to leave Lisa…”

I nodded and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. No...scratch that too. I gave her one long kiss, a deep one, something that you’d give the person you love when you think it’s your last kiss ever. 

I took a quick look around and saw the keys right beside the pool of blood from the officer’s body. I wasn’t squeamish, I watched saw… hills have eyes and knew at some point I’d be able to take whatever it was with a strong stomach, but man… if you think you’re prepared, you’re never fully prepared. That’s a fact I had to learn the worst way…

I saw the gaping wound through the corners of my eyes and wanted to vomit. It looked like a cave and I won’t go into details, don’t want you imagining things that’ll keep you up at night. None of that, but it looked ugly, like really, really ugly. I went on all fours, standing a while ago the keys looked real close, down here? Please pray I have long enough limbs to reach for it or we’re both trapped in here for God knows how long you’d survive without food and water. 

I reached and reached, and the tips of my fingers were barely grazing the cold steel. _ Fuck, what now? _I gave a quick glance at Jennie who was biting her nails and gave her a huge smile… I stretched, my shoulders hurting, squeezing them and reaching out. 

_ Almost… but not enough… _

“What’s wrong? Do you have it? Why do you have that look?”

“I… I can’t reach it.” 

“What?!” 

“I can’t reach it…”

“Oh for God’s sake! --”

“Calm down…”

“Calm down?! Have you seen what happened? What’s there to be calm about?”

“We’ll think of something else…”

“Keep your positivity away from me.”

Okay, that hurt too, 

“Wait… do you have a hair pin?”

She looked at me curiously. Did I say something wrong???

“What? You picking locks now?”

“No, that would be stupid.”

“Of course! Then why ask?”

“Just answer me please…”

She fumbled with her hair and took one, placing it with much gruffness in my open palm. I went back on all fours and reached out again, this time trying my best to use the hair pin to pull the keys closer… a little bit more… There! Gotcha!

“Yes!”

“You got it?”

“I got it.”

She ran to me and hugged me tight, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. Okay… I felt like a hero yadda, yadda, yadda. 

I put out my arm again, at this very weird angle that was bound to give me all sorts of body pain tomorrow. _ If we survive until tomorrow that is, _and fumbled with the lock. Trying my best to fit it into the keyhole. 

_ Click. _

I opened the door slowly, it creaked on it's hinges still… why did I even bother?

I put a hand out and Jennie took it, held onto it tightly. 

“Let’s go…”

I walked over the dead body, careful not to let the blood soil my shoes. _ They were white, you get the point. _Jennie did the same. 

We were on our way outside when we heard stirring… from our backs… and that wasn’t a good sign.

“Uh, Lisa?”

“Jen-Jen?”

“I love you.”

“Now’s not a good time to go all sentimental…”

The officer’s body twitched and shook, in an ugly looking seizure, sprinkling some of that blood all over, drops landing on my pristine white shoes… 

“Lisa… Lisa the gun!” 

Jennie points over to the wall, right behind the _ new thing. _Am I crazy? Well, not crazy enough. I stood there -- like those tertiary movie characters who were bound to get killed in the first fifteen minutes of the movie. Stood there in a stupor until I saw a flurry of hair and Jennie running after it. 

_ Hot… _

I shook my head, why was I getting mildly turned on at my girlfriend doing something rash and equally smart and also equally dangerous? 

“Jennie! Get back here!”

She stood, her fingers over the trigger, her hands shaking…

“Jennie!”

_ New thing _ thought it was the perfect time to wake up, it scrambled for a bit, hands frantic in the air until it stood, looking …. Straight … at me…. Oh boy. _ I’d appreciate that little pun about straights if I wasn’t you know, being lunged at by this ugly creature. _

I close my eyes and waited for the inevitable. This was it. The curtains closing. The time… I braced myself for the impact and what I know would be minutes of aggressive biting and I almost shivered at the thought of how painful that would be… until I heard the gunshot. 

It fell on its knees and reached out with a flailing hand at my feet, missing just by a couple of inches, I step back and look up at Jennie, who surprisingly knew how to fire a gun? 

“I've read a lot about zombies.” I blurted out of nowhere.

_ New thing _ was growling, dragging most of its weight towards me and I take two steps back, keeping my eyes on _ it. _

“Love, I know you’re very smart and all but unless you can paper cut a zombie to death. I don't think books are going to help at the moment.” her voice shook and the weight of her earlier words dawned on me. She really did love me. 

_ New thing _lunged and luckily for him… not me of course, grabbed onto my left ankle and pulled. Making me fall on my precious butt. 

“Lisa!” 

Jennie’s hands shook and I shook even harder, you know how fucking scary it is to have a 60 kg zombie pull at you and you try desperately to kick at it’s arms but they’re stronger and so you start having thoughts of dying because you know there’s a huge HUGE chance of it happening? No? Good… 

“Head! Aim for the head! Not that head! but ooooh, that looked like it would've hurt if only he was half alive to feel it, but head Jennie! “ 

I screamed, not really caring if more of the _ things _ outside would hear, just wanted my point across after her first shot missing and hitting _ new thing _in the crotch. 

_ Bang! _

_ It _slumped into a weird, contorted shape, it’s head landing with a “slosh” on the wet, grimy floor covered with … blood.

I scrambled away and felt Jennie’s tightening hold around me. 

“Fuck, that was… that hit harder that cocaine.”

“Shut up.”

Jennie pulls me into a breathless kiss, enough to make me calm down. 

“Let’s go…”

She drags me up and we jogged towards the door. I see a pistol in its holster hanging by an empty chair and took it. Jennie and I each took a metal baton off a rack by the entrance. The broken entrance and danced around the broken glass on the floor. 

We both peeked at the street and whew, was it a mess. Smoke covered most of the horizon and I could see shadows, moving closer or nearer? Who knows.

“Do you think those are people?”

“Could be.” I shrugged. “But, truth be told, I'm not sure any of them are actually alive.”

“Lisa, what now?”

“Do you trust me?”

“No.”

“Wise choice…” couldn’t hide the sarcasm in my voice…

“But I love you.”

“Don’t make me go liking this whole zombie apocalypse situation we’re in just cause you keeping saying that… but I love you too…”

“Good. Want to try home? We need to call Jisoo and Rosie.. See if they’re...uh ...”

“Alive?”

“Yeah…yeah…”

“That is a terrible, horrible, incredibly foolish idea baby... let's do it and see what happens.” 


	2. Who wants me in their Team?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, LOTS OF SWEARING... AND THIS IS A CRACK AU SO ... YOU KNOW, DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY BUT I HAD A LOT OF FUN WRITING THIS.

“Do you even know how to drive this thing?”

I guess… now would be the perfect time to admit to the love of my life how I failed my driver’s license test or do you think it would be best to keep my mouth shut at the moment and enjoy the tight grip she has on my right hand? 

“Lisa?!” 

Okay… okay… maybe it was time to come clean, yeah? 

“Normally babe, I’d lie and say yes. Not to make you worry y’know? But considering the fact that I almost flew us into that building, I’m going to assume you know the answer.”

I grin at her and do you know what I get in return for being... all honest about something I should’ve lied about? A slap, not something light, but a hard slap right across my pretty face. Like why???

“Hey! That hurt!”

“We just survived a zombie attack, I don’t plan on dying from an automobile accident just because you can’t fucking drive!”

Jennie held onto my hand as we whizzed through the nearly empty highway.  _ Nearly empty…  _ of course there were a couple of abandoned cars by the side of the road. How did you think we were able to get one? I don’t own one… 

“You’re overreacting… I know how to drive. I just have a bad sense of direction and estimating when to take a turn or when to hit the breaks or...”

“Bad sense at life more like…”

“Why do you bully me so much?”

I stole a quick glance at the rearview mirror and caught her smile. She looks really pretty, even prettier when she’s holding on to the gun with as much concentration as she has during university exams.  _ Hot.  _

“Cause I love you, and you need reminding that you're a dumbass but you’re MY dumbass so.”

I took a sudden left turn, making her slide in her seat over to me and allowing me to plant a quick kiss on her cheek. Sneaky? Oh you bet I am. 

“I don’t know if I should be happy about that or not.” She’s happy, I can see that twinkle in her eyes or was that just tears from the thought that I’m a bad driver? Huh, hard to tell.

We entered the freeway towards the university and everything was in shambles. I’m not over exaggerating here, that’s not my thing. Seriously, looking out… there were abandoned cars, smoke everywhere and crossing my fingers (both hands and feet) that there were no zombies. 

“Should we try and … call them?” 

My lovely girlfriend was squirming in her seat, and Jennie never squirmed. 

“Nah, we should skip that. Who knows, Chaeng might have her phone off vibrate and we don’t want those  _ things  _ to come after them…”

“A text then?”

“Babe… relax, they’ll be fine.”

I squeezed her hand in return and slowed down a bit. She had a point about surviving zombies and how unfortunate it would be to die from my lame ass driving skills. She always made sense, loved that about her. 

* * *

If you’ve ever wondered what a university looked like without students… a zombie apocalypse is the perfect time to see that come to fruition. There was nothing...literally  _ nothing  _ outside. Not even a trace of those  _ things.  _ I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a good thing or if that was bad, or maybe it’s both or none of the above at all. We walked slowly though, I was holding on to the metal police baton because I know my aim isn't that good and anything as loud as a gunshot would probably attract those nasty critters.  _ Probably.  _

We entered the dorm and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared we’d end up with zombie Jisoo and Chaeng. Anything could happen, especially during a zombie apocalypse.

**Room 923**

We stood outside the door quite awkwardly, I mean… we don’t know what to expect. 

“You ready?” 

Jennie was whispering and was looking left and right. As if something was bound to appear from a hallway of closed doors.  _ Do zombies have enough mental capacities to open doors? Locked doors in particular… or do they just run into them? Hoping it's enough to, you know…  _

Jennie knocked as softly as she could, it was so soft I barely even heard it myself. 

_ Silence… _

"Lisa… what if--"

"What if we knock harder, yeah?" 

I knocked, a bit more forcefully than I should. I tried to hide the wince as it echoed out into the empty hallway. 

"Idiot! That was  _ way _ harder."

I was about to defend myself, it was a perfectly calculated knock that I was exceptionally proud of. 

We heard shuffling inside and low grunts and damn I've never seen Jennie so tense in my whole life. I held her hand and motioned to keep the gun away… _ she can be rather rash. _

The shuffling and grunting was becoming louder and my heart jumped, as high as it could inside my chest when the door opened and a frantic looking Jisoo popped up. 

"Christ! You look … you look…"

Jennie nudged me and I bit my tongue… 

"Jisoo! You're fine! You're alive! You're... you're--"

"You look like shit."  _ I'm sorry I couldn't help it.  _

"Lisa!"

"What?? We all look like shit anyways, right chu?"

I looked back at her and saw her grinning. It was an inside joke whenever any of us panics.  _ We look like shit, except this time there was a bit of truth to it. _

"Where the hell were you?! We were worried sick!" She pulled us inside and closed the door, fumbling with the lock. 

The sofa was placed messily behind the door with the cabinets and the drawers and the spare chairs and everything we owned that weighed more than we did… now the grunting and shuffling made sense. 

"Jennie! Lisa!" Chaeng was holding onto a bat, cradling it in her arms like a baby. " I'm glad you two are okay… What…. What happened? Where were you? Jisoo and I looked all over your scheduled classes when the broadcast came on."

"We were in prison and--"

Jennie's hand landed straight on my head, she shows her love in such weird ways. 

"What was that for?!" 

"They don't need to know about that, let's just say we were face to face with one of those… uhm, with whatever it is that's out there."

Chaeng shuddered and Jisoo was grinning, but it's more from us being imprisoned… I think?

"We saw the news, it's all over Busan…" Chaeng was biting her lower lip and holding on to the bat rather… forcefully.

"I think it's going to be all over South Korea… maybe even the world. I mean, that's how all zombie flicks go right?" Jisoo disappeared and seemed to be rummaging the kitchen for something, that something is something I don't know.  _ Well, that’s a confusing thought... _

"We should think about what to do next…" Jennie sat down by the bed next to Chaeng. 

"We're all out of food by the way.." Jisoo peeked from the kitchen door giving Chaeng a weird look. 

"Sorry guys…" Chaeng looked away. 

_ Of course… there’s no other culprit. I don’t know if I should laugh or not.  _

"Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?"

I said out of the blue, I think of the best ideas, wbk. 

"Oh god, we're going to die, aren't we?" 

Now, I don't know what the hell Jisoo was doing inside the kitchen but she sure as hell was being annoying at the moment. 

"It's a wednesday. I know how to restrain myself"

"You absolutely do not" Jennie gave me one of her stern looks, her behave-now-or-else kind of look.

_ Weren't girlfriends supposed to help you out? Be supportive? _

"We were in prison, what's the worst thing that could happen?"

"uhhhh we can die?" 

"Now that's just exaggerating love…"

"I think your girlfriend has a point Manoban" Chaeng gave Jennie a wink.

"I don't think the person responsible for going through our supplies has any right to speak up on this topic.”

“Leave my girlfriend alone Lalise.” 

Jisoo came out of the kitchen with a huge wooden rod, wait… was that a bed frame slat? Well… part of a bed frame slat to be specific. It’s not the flat types, but one of those cylindrical rod-like types. She was brandishing it around with much flair.  _ So Jisoo… _

“What? Or you’ll hit me in the head with that rod?” 

“I’ll stab you with the knife at the end of this rod.” She smirked. Oh boy, okay… my bad. Didn’t see the sharp knife she had attached at the end. Woah, never knew my friends could be so ingenious. 

“Okay, fine. What do you guys suggest we do then?” I put my hands up in defeat. 

“Well, we have two choices. We either one, stay here until we get further word of what to do and you know, possibly starve too since we ran out of food, or two, we leave and we find supplies and possibly a new shelter?” Jisoo’s smart… have I mentioned she was smart? Logical? Made incredible sense? But to be honest, the latter was my plan… don’t know how she found out about it.

“Should we have a vote then?” my girlfriend’s cute, nobody disagree I’m holding a baton and I have a wicked swing. 

“Alright, all in favor of the first option say aye!” 

_ Silence.  _

Goodie, my friends are not only ingenious … they were hella smart too. 

“Okay, so it seems we’re all in favor of the second option.” 

“How do we get out of here? There’s probably around a hundred of them out there.” 

“We actually didn’t see one outside... “ Jennie answered, giving Jisoo a smile. 

“We don’t have transpo, are we walking?” Chaeng stood up and went to Jisoo. 

“We have a car.” I said without flinching. “Well, stole one actually.”

“That’s irrelevant, stealing doesn’t mean shit when it’s the end of the fucking world.” Does Jisoo find Chang hot when she’s spewing out expletives at that rate? 

“Okay then, let’s grab everything we can use and head out. We’ll try the nearest convenience store around here and get as much food and water and medicine.” Jennie was walking towards our shared closet and pulled out two utility backpacks we only ever used during camping or hiking. 

“How about we have designated roles?” All three looked at me like I was a crazy person.  _ I was… a bit… you can’t blame me I just witnessed something horrible I’m bound to be a bit weird after. _

“What do you mean Manoban?” 

“Well chu, think about it this way… there’s four of us and each can only bring one backpack along right?” 

“Uhhh… yeah?”

“Cause bringing more than one might slow down the team, so… we each take two sets of clothes. One’s in charge of bringing extra handy weapons. I’m talking knives...uh, hammers, uh… whatever other heavy pointy things that’ll fill the bag. The other’s in charge of bringing food and water, and the other one in charge of medicine.” 

_ Do i make sense? I’ve played… left for dead and call of duty - zombie mode and know a thing or two about the importance of being as lightweight as possible during a crisis.  _

“Hmmm.. okay, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

“The way you said that makes me question your loyalty Chaeng.”

She gave me an apologetic smile,  _ forgiven.  _

“That’s three though… you said, weapons, supplies and medicine. What does the other one bring along?” 

“Guns, of course.” I said matter-of-factly.

“We don’t have that.” Chu, ever the logical friend. 

“We raid a gun store.” Jennie answered,  _ love you babe. _

“We kind of don’t know how to use one. We’re students remember? Not gun-toting maniacs. “ 

“Don’t worry Chae, dad taught me a thing or two. I’ll show you guys how.” 

_ Oh… so that explains why she was able to kill ‘other thing’ back at the station…  _

“Alright, we’re all set. I’ll bring the food and water, so I can monitor it.” Jisoo gave her blushing girlfriend a huge grin.

“I took first aid lessons, I’ll handle the medicine.” Chaeng chuckled. 

“I’ll take care of the guns.” Jennie looked at me.

_ Great.... _

“Urgh.. that leaves other heavy pointy weapons to me?”

“Yes babe, you.”

Okay, maybe bringing the heaviest bag among them wasn’t so bad, especially if you get a torrid kiss from Jennie Kim.

* * *

Okay… other heavy pointy things… we have:

  1. Two steel hammers
  2. Three chef’s knives
  3. A giant ass screwdriver (how to use this to kill off zombies will forever remain a mystery to me, if you have any ideas feel free to pitch them,)
  4. 2 crowbars (how we manage to even have 1, is also a mystery to me, but I have my eyes on Jisoo)
  5. A big heavy as fuck pipe wrench (I seriously have no idea that we have a whole collection of handy things inside the dorm)

This was one heavy bag and I have like, no right to whine, cause you know… my idea? Anyway, we’re at this convenience store off the main highway and so far we haven’t seen one zombie yet… which is weird, given there should be a lot of them around right? Or should I just be grateful we’re relatively safe for now? 

The lights inside were flickering and most of the supplies were already gone.  _ It’s scary how panic buying can be so panicky lol.  _ I was pushing a cart away, and watched it skid over to a corner. I was holding on to my trusty police baton as Jisoo filled her bag with canned goodies and filled a cart with bottled water. Jennie was with Chaeyoung who was rummaging the pharmacy for anything useful and I was… thirsty. All this lugging around heavy stuff was making me thirsty.  _ You can’t blame me either.  _

“Hey chu, mind if I go grab a can of soda real quick?” I whispered. 

She was ignoring me.

“Hey Jisooooo.” I spoke a bit louder.

“No, no I don’t mind. Grab me one too will you?” 

I nodded and left her there. The freezer was a long ways off to the corner of the store. Nearer the entrance and I took my time walking and huffing. 

“Hmmmmm … should I get a Sprite… or a coke?” 

Now, when you’re all busy thinking which carbonated sugary drink reeking of diabetes was good enough to drink during an apocalypse any sound as light as it may be will definitely scare the bejesus out of you. 

“Chaeng!” that sounded like my girlfriend, my smol, beautiful, love of my life, girlfriend

A loud scream followed right after, that’s definitely her. 

I almost dropped the can of Sprite.  _ That sounded bad.  _ Screaming and the sounds of things falling all over.  _ Sounds worse. _

I ran as fast as I can over to the drug section and found Chaeyound’s modified bat (we placed multiple nails at the top just so it would pack a heavier punch) bloody. An equally bloody body on the floor. 

“What happened?” I asked out of breath.

“Never, ever, open closed doors when you’re at an unknown place.” Chaeng answered back between heavy breaths. 

“Uhhh, sure… want to make that a survival rule?” I ask softly. 

Jennie was holding on to her gun at a safe distance. 

“Probably the pharmacist?” She asked out of nowhere.

“It’s kind of hard to ask someone who can no longer talk babe.”

She chuckled, and Chaeyoung laughed. Great, it was awesome they found my dry humor funny despite the situation we were in.

“Guys?! A little help?!” Jisoo was screaming at the top of her lungs and we all gave each worried looks and sprinted off. 

There were one...two… fuck, five of them running after Jisoo who was running towards us. 

_ Survival tip number two: NEVER SCREAM … no matter what happens. _

Chaeng ran towards her staggering girlfriend, I take back what I said about being the one who has the heaviest bag, it was clearly Jisoo. Chaeyoung pulled her towards Jennie who caught her in time. 

“Not my girlfriend you asshole!” She swung her bat and it hit the zombie in the face with a sickening thud. “Not my girlfriend.”

_ Jisoo is definitely proud.  _

I saw Jennie cock the gun and preparing to pull the trigger.

“Babe, no!” I whisper shout. She gave me one questioning look as Jisoo dropped her bag and swung her rod-knife allowing it to sink into an incoming zombie’s forehead. “The sound might attract more.” 

She nodded and placed it back into the holster, gripping the metal baton in both hands and smashing it into the zombies gut. It staggered back for a bit before she swung again, hitting it in the face with a sickening crunch. 

_ Oooh that probably hurt.  _

Okay… three down, two more to go. 

“Lisa! Behind you!” 

I turn around in time to see a running zombie straight at me. 

“Okay… let’s see what you got.” 

I swing the baton and miss on the first swipe.  _ God I suck at this.  _ It hits me straight on and I fell on the ground, with the whole bag on my back and boy does it hurt. 

“Ooof…” 

I use the baton to keep it from taking a chunk off my face, using both hands to push the baton against its neck. They reek of death and spoiled food. Urgh, makes me want to vomit.  _ Please don’t let drool at me, please don’t let it drool at me.  _

The other thing was running after my three friends, my three friends whom I love so much. Preventing them from saving my clumsy ass. 

This other thing was still wanting to bite a piece of my face off, I see a can of mushroom soup in the corner of my eye and push against whatever it is off of me with as much strength as I could muster using one hand. I’m either stupid or stupid -- no in betweens. I reach for the can as if my life depended on it (it did actually). I grab it and hit the fucking zombie at the side of it’s ugly head and it falls with a dull thud beside me. 

I scramble to my feet and hit it in the head repeatedly. Again and again using the baton, cause when you’re rattled you crave for revenge.

“Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you!” I said over and over and over.

“Babe… that’s enough.” 

I feel Jennie’s hands around my waist and her lips on my cheeks and I calm down automatically. 

“That’s just overkill…” I heard Jisoo from behind me. 

“Let’s, let’s go and find a gun shop and that shelter, yeah?”

She ran her hands up and down my back and gave butterfly kisses along my jawline and I calm down even more. 

“Yeah…. Yeah, let’s ditch this place.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S: JISOO AND CHAENG ARE MY SPIRIT ANIMAL, BUT IM MOSTLY THE LISA IN THE GROUP IF THIS EVER HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE LOL.


	3. I Make the Perfect Distraction, I guess?

_ I remember starting that morning with my usual cup of hot chocolate and existential crisis… Who knew it would escalate to this? From greeting the apocalypse while serving a brief ( a day ) prison sentence, to finally realizing I’m not cut out for driving, to almost getting killed (twice, I know… how incredibly lucky right?) and now… _

“There’s probably twenty of them outside.”

“Probably Chaeng...probably. There could be more, who knows.” I’ve realized my girlfriend has developed a habit of running her fingers over the holster strapped onto her dainty waist. 

Jennie was pacing back and forth again and my eyes were too, as it followed her around. You see, all that shouting, screaming, grunts, and you know… all that chaos inside the convenience store had attracted the stupid _ things _from what we think were within a 20 meter radius. It was a real bummer, actually. 

“So, what’s our exit strategy?” Jisoo was breathing hard from shuffling around the empty stalls to barricade the _ only _entrance and exit. (or there’s probably another one at the back, but irrelevant at this point)

“Our what?” Chaeng was a couple of feet away from us, look-out and all. 

“Our exit strategy… You know, how we plan to leave this place. I don't plan on sharing living, breathing space with these... “ Jisoo made it a huge point of walking over one of the _ things _on the floor to get to her backpack. 

“Things.” I offered, they don’t deserve a fancier name to be honest. 

“Yes, thank you. These things.”

We looked around at each other. Just looking, assessing how each one’s taking it so far. Jisoo was incredibly calm, I expect nothing less. My baby was focused on thinking about exit strategies...probably. Chaeng was looking outside, maybe … wanting to drive that huge bat of hers against their faces, she’s like that when stressed. Me? I was tired… and sleepy, and wanted nothing more than a cup of hot chocolate with those little marshmallows and a huge serving of whipped cream on top. Which reminds me… The next idea that pops out of my mouth is brought to you by years of playing Left for Dead (great game, miss playing it actually) 

“I have a solution.” 

“Thank goodness.” Chaeyoung walked back over to where we were huddled, and sat unceremoniously beside Jisoo. 

“It involves fire…” I added

“Absolutely fucking not” 

“Why? You have anything better in mind Chu?”

“Why don’t we hear her out this time?” Jennie stopped with her pacing and smiled at me, uwu

“Thank you babe.”

“Uhh Lisa and fire don’t mix well together, remember second year when she almost set fire to the kitchen?”

_ Gee, Jisoo. Now wasn’t the time to go dig up funny anecdotes that would’ve been a great topic during camping. _

“Almost, Jisoo, almost…” I countered

“Still, I don’t trust you with fire.”

“C’mon babe, we have nothing else at the moment, unless of course you have anything in mind?” Chaeng kissed her on the cheek to make her change her mind, _ sneaky lol _

“Fine… what do you have in mind?”

“Okay, great. Now here’s the plan. I saw a couple of propane tanks at the back… I used to play this game, and one of the characters would attach this makeshift wick to the canister, ignite that and throw it over to the unsuspecting, brainless zombies and they’d blow up and stuff and you know, just die.” I said matter-of-factly, as if I’ve done this thing my whole life. 

Jisoo took one look at me and burst out laughing. 

Did I say anything funny?

“Oh my god, we're all going to die.” She finds the weirdest things funny. 

“This way is more efficient.”

“No Lisa, this way is going to get us all killed. Right babe?” She turned towards Chaeyoung whose forehead was creased in deep thought. 

“I’d agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.”

“See, your girlfriend makes sense.” I give her a smile. 

Seeing Jisoo’s shocked face was… rewarding in a way. 

“Alright then, we can try this out. The only real downside here is that they’re a bit scattered. If we throw one out at a group it’ll generate too much noise, who knows how many of them will swarm us then? We need one good shot that’ll take care of most if not all of them, just enough for us to sprint over to the car and leave this damn place.” Jennie spoke with much confidence -- something I’ll never have. _ One of the things I admire about her. _

“Fine, we’ll see if this works.” Jisoo rolled her eyes, but I could see the smile.

“Okay… why don’t we have one who’ll be _ the _distraction?” Chaeyoung added with a weird looking smile. 

We looked at each other and burst out laughing, why? I have no clue. They were laughing so I was laughing. 

“Who’s it gonna be then? And how exactly is this distracting going to go?” I ask the best questions, that’s a fact. 

“I was joking.”

Or maybe not… 

“No, but seriously how are we going to execute all of this?” 

“Maybe… Chaeng has a point.” Jennie sat beside me and played with my bangs, I can’t see shit except for her delicate fingers and palm in front of my face (I’m not complaining -- don’t tell anyone I love it when does this)

“It can’t be me though, I have… like, the shortest legs.” She’s funny, I love her. 

“Neither can it be me. I have the heaviest bag and I’m beginning to regret offering to bring all this food.” 

Jennie stopped doing whatever it was she was doing with my bangs (it was lowkey making me feel sleepy too) and gave me a kiss on the cheek instead before working on her gun. 

I looked at Chaeyoung and she looked back at me. _ I have the best idea. _

“Rock, paper scissors?” I mused. 

“Oh hell no! I might as well volunteer myself if that’s the case!”

Chaeyoung sucked at that game (it’s a well-known fact), and I was … hoping I could bank at that particular weakness… but, 

“How do we choose who gets to do it then?” 

“Chaeyoung, you’re the faster runner.”

“I’m clumsy!”

“So am I!”

“Okay, both of you stop. I think I know what to do.” 

Jennie, IS THE BEST. I tell you, she is. 

* * *

Okay, here’s the lowdown so far…

**Jisoo: runs as fast as she can with that heavy ass bag over to the car. (VERY IMPORTANT, she has the food and water) **

**Jennie: covers Jisoo’s back for any stray zombie that comes their way and start the car.**

**Chaeyoung: In charge of igniting the wick of this makeshift propane bomb and, rolling it over to a huge cluster of zombies away, like far far away from the car and run as fast as she can to the car too. **

**Lisa: Well… I guess you know by now what my role is… distraction. Yup, get their fucking attention and survive the run, the explosion, possibility of a zombie attack out of nowhere and you know … run as fast as I can towards the car and be the designated driver. FUN. **

“I’m beginning to question my chances of living to a ripe old age.” 

“You really have to decide being a pessimist at this exact opportune moment?” Jennie hugs me tight and kisses me, the kind that makes me think of ice cream sundaes and warm evening huddled under blankets watching a Netflix series. “Be careful, okay?”

“I’ll try…”

She hits me on the head and we both chuckle. 

“I love you,”

_ I am really starting to love this apocalypse shit. _

“I love you…so much.” _i do, very very much_

“Alright Jen, ready.”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

I glance at Chaeyoung and signals I’m ready too. _ Oh god, let me do this one thing right, please… _

We push the shelves away and slowly open the doors. Most of the _ things _ outside that were closer were still oblivious. _ Perfect. I mean it’s ideal, for now. _ Jisoo walks out first, careful not to make any sound as she holds on to her makeshift rod-knife or whatever it is, wait… it’s a fucking spear (why have I just realized that now). If she can walk her way to the car without making any noise and probably surviving that along with Jennie then _ hallelujah! _

Jennie followed not long after, police baton in hand. 

Great… everything’s turning out well and according to plan. 

Jisoo’s almost to the car when… you get the point when the narrator goes “when…” or “until... “. What happens next ain’t going to be lovely. 

Fate really likes to play with us. I mean Jisoo was already trying to open the door when she had to sneeze. She had to choose that _ moment _to fucking sneeze. 

She scrambles inside and Jennie runs, hitting one zombie on the side of the head that went after Jisoo, Chaeyoung almost screamed to which I have to cover her mouth for. Jennie ducks to avoid one lunging after her and I do what I was tasked to do, to make it more bad-ass … What I was born to do… okay, anyways…

“Hey! Over here you suckers!” I press on the air horn as hard as I can and sprint off into the other direction. _ Please don’t trip Lisa… please don’t. _I see the majority of them running after me and I’m finding myself thanking physical education class I have good cardio. 

I take a quick look back to see if Jennie has turned the car on and saw her struggling with a _ thing _ by the passenger door. Watched how she landed a kick against its abdomen and swung so hard against its head her police baton went flying off. She hesitated for a bit before deciding not to go after it and get in the car instead. _ Smart, very smart decision. _

I see _ all _of them running after me now, given how noisy the horn is. 

“Chaeyoung! Light it up!”

I run faster and threw the horn away, seeing it bounce off a brainless _ thing. _ I took my phone out and play the first song on my playlist, I leave it on the ground and ran as fast as I could. _ Sacrifices must be made, I’ll miss you selfies and 1000+ pictures of Jennie. _

I take a right to circle back towards the car and see the propane tank rolling off towards the horde, see Chaeyoung enter the backseat and Jisoo waving at me frantically. _ Oh god. _My leg muscles were slowly shaking from the short, intense burst of sudden activity. 

“Run Manoban!”

I grunt and heard the explosion, felt the heat on my back and almost tripped on a fucking rock. I was a long ways away before it exploded because if not, who knows I would’ve been toast too. I feel something slick hit me in the back and I didn’t want to know what it was. _ Not now. _

I slide over to the open drivers door and hit on the gas like a maniac. 

“That was insane.” 

I could barely understand what that meant, and couldn’t tell who made the comment either. 

I take a quick glance at the side view mirror and see a lot of the other _ things _ come our from everywhere, attracted by the explosion and saw some of the others catch fire and run around aimlessly. _ Idiots, well of course they were brainless, but still, idiots. _

“Well, that could’ve gone better” Jennie said under her breath as she grabbed my hand and kissed it, calming me down. 

I looked at her and then at the rear-view mirror at Jisoo who was being crushed into a tight hug by Chaeyoung and looked back at Jennie. I see worry, relief, and love in her eyes and leaned in for a kiss. 

“When this is all over I want my sanity back, and maybe my peaceful hot choco mornings too” 

Jennie chuckled and it was enough to give me hope and peace of mind for now. 

NEXT DESTINATION: GUN STORE. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is as entertaining as I think it to be?  
will have a Fix You update tomorrow


	4. MAYBE... THIS COULD WORK?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a while. LOL. I've been listening to AC/DC and Deep Purple and yeah Led Zeppelin too. Hope this makes up for the long wait.

* * *

We’ve been driving for some time now. Towards where? I don’t know. It’s kind of hard to tell from all the smoke at the far off distance and all that has happened recently, in a day, and on a Wednesday out of all the days in a week. All I know is I’m driving away, far far away from that damned convenience store. 

“You’re speeding.” Jisoo’s voice was spread out too thinly, I know she’s being wary of my driving skills. Not that I blame her I’ve been whisking past burning cars like I was in a Fast and Furious movie set or something. 

“I acknowledge sign’s recommendation.” 

“You’re going 30 miles over!” Okay, maybe I’m lying…

“Do you want to go 30 miles under and risk being pulled over by a horde of those  _ things?” _

The growing silence and the frown on Jisoo’s face was enough to point out I’m finally making sense. (which I always am, they just can’t seem to see that at face value sometimes.)

“Exactly…” I muttered, catching her eye through the rearview mirror and grinning. 

Jennie stirred beside me and groaned. She was sleeping to make up for all that happened and she could get real grumpy when she was sleepy so we’re not taking any chances at all. 

“Are we there yet?” Her voice was hoarse from sleep and I liked it most that way. 

“Hmmmm, define ‘there’ babe.” It was always better to make things as lighthearted as possible… and yes before you comment, this golden rule applies to zombie apocalypses’ too. 

“Gun store?” 

“Where exactly is this proverbial  _ gun store?”  _

“Sheesh, the mall babe… where we can find everything…” 

Chaeyoung chuckled, and I gave her the evil eye. Which is a very effective tool to shut people up. 

“You should’ve said this sooner.” 

“You should’ve asked.” 

I can’t with her sometimes. She’s just too... right. That thought alone made me laugh and everyone in the car laughed along because I have an infectious one you see? The kind that starts out low and then turns into a full on laughing spree with the tears and all. I stole a quick glance at her and found my heart fluttering from the way her eyes would disappear when she laughed or smile. I leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek, “I love you.” 

She smiled back and pinched my cheek in return. “I love you too, but please eyes on the road.” 

* * *

  
  


I remember this huge mall by the interstate a couple of km’s away from university that we’d go frequent when we were in freshman year, we don’t go there as much as we did before becuase a new one was available nearby. Why am I telling you the boring details? Well.. cause we’re walking towards its entrance… cautious… cause just like school it’s parking lot was weirdly empty. Not that we’re not thankful for that, we are... really thankful to all the Gods possible. But you know, the same thing that happened back there could happen here and the distance we need to cover from the mall to the car is … well, enough to qualify us for the marathon. 

Inside was a different story, a faaar different story that I wish we’d live through for me to tell you because I have a feeling it’ll be an epic one to tell the grandkids someday. THAT KIND OF EPIC. If I disappoint, then my bad I guess? 

You see, the moment we opened those big ass doors we’re faced with seven of em’ and not the usual one’s we faced at the convenience store which if I think about it were all teenagers (OMG probably schoolmates from uni???). These were… well built things who looked at us cause apparently we make messy, noisy entrances. We can’t be blamed though… You always have to have an awesome entrance. 

“Well… this could’ve gone better.” Chaeoyung said beneath her breath, holding her bat up. 

“Tell me about it.” Jisoo answered back. 

“Babe?”

“Yeah?” 

Jennie holds out her hand and I look at it with a weird look, an expression between “what?” and “huh?”

She raises an eyebrow and the thought hits me, weapon. We both need a melee weapon. 

The things were running towards us and Chaeyoung was looking at me and at them, back and forth that I felt pressured. Fmbling inside the bag I give Jennie the first thing I laid my hands on. 

“Here.” 

A Fucking Crowbar, yup she gets the badass weapon and what do I get for myself? A giant ass screwdriver, like wtf? 

But I have no time to spare. Our main priority as of now is to protect the asset. Yup, you read that right. Asset. Im talking in that agent speech that I find to be so cool. But going back… 

Priority: Asset, Asset: Jisoo. 

She has the supplies and she can’t for the love of all that is Holy, fight with that monstrosity she calls a bag on her back. 

So? Cue in:DEEP PURPLE’S HIGHWAY STAR . (and don’t forget this is all in slow motion for maximum badassery) 

Jennie surges forward, a smiling Chaeyoung running right after. 

Jennie drives the crowbar deep into a thing’s head, the end burying inside its eye socket with a wet  _ splosh  _ that made me wince, she had a hard time pulling it away as the body dropped heavily on the tiled floor. Chaeyoung swings her bat at an incoming thing, with as much force its head snapped at a weird angle, the sound would’ve been a bit disturbing if Jisoo wasn't cheering her on with jumps and grunts and flappy arm movements. 

_ I get it… I get it… she’s proud.  _

I run maniacally towards another one that sort of limped its way, limping while running. It was in all honesty sort of funny if he wasn’t you know... Zombified. I don’t know half of what I’m doing, let’s be very honest here since that word seems to be very popular these days and open… I don’t know what IM fucking doing. I run, screwdriver in hand, tip pointed towards the thing cause well that seems to be the best, most smart thing to do at the moment. 

_ Take note that all of this is done while my other eye is closed, why? I don’t know -- it’s a weird reflex I guess? Foreshadowing blood might spurt and I don’t want any of that icky stuff on my eyeball. It’s a very valid reason.  _

I see Jennie smash another thing’s head in the corner of my eye and Chaeyoung running back to check on her girlfriend who was huffing from the weight of the bag. The growls sounded closer and I focus on the one thing in front of me. 

Luck finally sided with me, because the thing sort of trips and I drive the screwdriver deep into its forehead, it sticks into the skull deep, heard it crack and I wanted to vomit from the way it got stuck, handle sticking out as the thing falls on it’s back, the back of its head dropping and sounding like watermelon dropped from an incredible height.  _ Gross…  _

I struggled with taking the screwdriver out, the blood making the handle slippery and my warm hands sliding off every time I tried pulling out. I was on my knees and pulling with everything.  _ God, I hate blood. I hate this apocalypse. I hate everything at the moment.  _

I almost screamed as Chaeyoung’s bat whisked past my face and into the face of another one who (my dumbass didn’t know) was charging full on towards me. 

“Shouldn’t you leave that thing and y’know use something that’s more appropriate?” Chaeyoung said through ragged breaths. 

“You’re making perfect sense and I’m so glad I have you as my best friend.” 

“Less talk, more killing Lis.” 

She runs off towards another one with Jennie in tow. I wipe my hands on the things shirt, cause duh? Aint none of that blood is staining my favorite “Live Aid” t-shirt. Rummaged through the bag and got hold of the wrench.  _ Good… this one seems better.  _

There were two of them left, one of which was running towards Jisoo who was struggling to keep up. 

She doesn’t know, or maybe she does? It was hard to tell… but Im convinced she doesn’t because look at her face? It’s all peaceful (minus the heaving from the weight part). So I do the thing I think will be of great help. I run towards her wrench in air and she has the weirdest of faces when surprised.. I almost ran into her, I’m very bad with footwork and we almost tumbled together if she hadn't jumped to her left which gave me the perfect angle to swing the wrench and hit the thing on the jaw, half of which went flying somewhere and another swing to break it’s skull.  _ I was beginning to enjoy this so much.  _ I think I did I laughed out loud. 

“You’re insane!” Jisoo was clenching her teeth, prolly from the almost-running-into-you kind of thing a while back. 

“I know! Isn’t it great?”

“If you hadn’t killed that thing, no… far from great.” 

“Hey! I killed two of em’ this time!” I hated whining, but I was exceptionally proud of my contribution. 

:What do you want? A gold star?” 

I love Jisoo, don’t get me wrong but we bicker more than we agreed on things. 

“Yow, what’s up with you two?” Jennie was beside me and reached out to hold my hand. Hers was very warm and made me think of afternoon walks by the park. 

“Your girlfriend almost killed me.” She was pouting and she looked adorable. NGL.

“I didn’t! I saved your ass!” 

“Woah, calm down… You did an awesome job, I saw you from back there. Awesome swing.” Jennie whispered, holding on to my shoulder and giving me a quick kiss. 

“Lisa did save you… you should say sorry.” Chaeyoung was hugging Jisoo, who looked like she just lost her favorite pen. 

“Fine, maybe you did a good job.”

“Of course. I’m the --”

“Okay… let’s not get things out of hand yeah?” Jennie pulled me away and I just shrugged my shoulders. 

“Now that we’re safer, I remembered the gun shop is located on the second floor. Near that famous Mexican resto before?” Chaeyoung was running little circles on Jisoo’s arms who nodded absentmindedly. 

  
  


“Yeah… I sort of remember that too. Should we go?” Jennie chimed in. 

“We’re not safe though…” Jisoo grumbled under her breath as she adjusted the bag’s straps. 

“I know babe. I said we were safer… not safe.” 

“Look why don’t we split the food in between us? Make it easier for you.” I suddenly remembered my bag wasn’t so full anymore and Chaeyoung has probably the lightest at this point. 

“Wow, you’re actually making sense.”

“Please don’t use sarcasm Chu, It confuses me.” I answered back with a smile, opening my bag and asking for some. 

* * *

Thankfully the journey all the way to the second floor was uneventful, quiet and void of zombies. The gun store was where it was as Chaeyoung remembered it. Right beside Naughty Nacho’s … yup the Mexican resto. It was open and a lot of Smith and Wesson’s and Glocks were on display. Lisa knew they were plastic replicas though and the real ones hidden inside. 

We walked inside casually, like what you usually do when you’re out on a regular day to shop at the mall, except we were holding your everyday average items, bloodied and we’re all grimy and tired from all the unnecessary action.  _ If only this was all but a nightmare, now would be the best time to wake up.  _

We stopped in front of a large vault. You know those vault-like rooms? Instead this time it was password protected and at this point I don’t know what to do. I just wanna crash into a soft bed and sleep and forget about all this zombie shit. 

“So what do we do now?”

Thank you Chaeyoung for asking all the relevant questions. 

The silence was deafening, but kind of comforting… you know… made me even sleepier if it weren’t for that gunshot.

“You didn’t seriously…?” I said, almost out of breath

“Yep.”

“You just…?”

“Yep.”

“Does that mean…”

“Quite probably, yeah” 

The love of my life answered. Great, now we might have attracted another wave of those thingies. 

  
  



	5. How do you use this thing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now there's a bit of info on guns here -- I have no idea about them so lol take anything you read here with a grain of salt + this is a crack au so no seriousness. I abhor guns but when you're in a zombie apocalypse I guess it's a necessity? So yeah, safe gun practices here...

I take one look at the smoking vault door and couldn't help but let out a stream of expletives.  _ Could you blame me??? _

"Are you insane?! Do you know how loud that was? They're probably running off towards us by now?! What were you thinking?!" 

Now, I  _ love _ Jennie -- no doubt about it. Love her from the tips of my nose to the ends of my feet, from my fingertips to my ears.  _ That was a weird way of coming up with ways to prove I love her but it sounds cute, so roll with it?  _

Now… where was I? 

Ahh yes, I love Jennie… so much, but that doesn't mean I can't call her out when she's being stupid too. It's supposed to work that way, call each other out for the better. Right? Or… am I not right? … or… whatever. Anyways… back to me screaming at the top of my lungs. 

"Jen-Jen what were you thinking?!" 

I can see Chaeyoung and Jisoo becoming more and more agitated, and I was too.  _ No shit.  _

My lovely girlfriend took one look at me and nodded……. 

She nodded…

Didn't even reason out, didn't even scream at me…

_ Should I… should I be worried?  _

"Hey, uh… baby? You, uh … you okay?" 

"Uhmm… guys? Maybe we could get to the silent treatment or the possibility of an argument _ after _ we get out of here?" Chaeyoung whispered, now … not to sound like a total douche, but I could hear the building panic in her voice and I took another look at Jennie who calmly walked right past us towards the opened vault door.

"Jen Jen?" 

_ No answer.  _

_ Great.  _

"Look, I'm sorry for shouting at you but it's really a very stupid thing to go around shooting stuff just because you can and just beca--" 

"Will you three just stand there or do you guys want to come with me and get supplies here so we can go? Or… better yet, do you guys want to stand there and wait for the  _ things?  _ Cause be my guest. _ "  _

Jennie had an annoyed look, a nervous tick made her smirk and gesture towards the door with her head. 

"So? What'll it be?"

"Yeah, yeah we're coming." Jisoo walked past me and went with Jennie inside the room. 

"Come on Lisa…" Chaeyoung went off for Jisoo and I stood there like the dumbass that I was, all confused and mad, and… well… sort of in awe too. 

Well, when you're up against  _ things _ and you're in this end of the world predicament -- you do what you gotta do and roll with whatever it is you have. 

_ Time to learn more about guns and make up with my stewing girlfriend…  _

* * *

"You don’t suppose they've got a blowtorch around here?" I barged into the metal room and saw all three whip their heads over at me.  _ What? Can't I have a fancy, badass entrance?  _

"What? You don't like blowtorches? They're cool?" I said good heartedly, trying to make things light -- the only thing I'm good at, it seems. 

"You and fire just don't mix Lisa… now can you shut up?" 

Jisoo gave me the side eye, oh ...how she shows her affection.  _ Love ya too bestie.  _

"We've got to breeze through this as fast as we can." Jennie started "We don't have the luxury to go through this in detail so please… please… listen well, okay?" She looks straight (not so straight -- heh) at me, wanting to make sure I heard  _ that _ particular message clearly and that the message drives home… 

_ Am I really that much of a liability here?  _

"Okay, first off… handguns, this store probably supplies the local police cause we have every standard police issued handgun here. We don't want these though, too much recoil and it'll take more than one bullet to bring one of those hideous  _ things  _ down given we can't have target practice now. Plus these aren't too good for far off targets -- but… and I can't stress this enough right now, we need all the help we can get out of these bad boys… so take two. Each. Now. Quickly." 

I look to my left and pick up the first thing I see. It's matte black, the usual ones you see on TV, and woah boy… does it weigh more than it looks. It's kinda funny having to hold one and… not really knowing what to do with it. I'm clumsy, very, so… do you think it'll be such a wise choice to let me carry one? Not one, but two? 

"Sig Sauer P226, not bad babe." Jennie slides beside me and runs a finger across down the barrel. "You hold it in front of you, like this…" 

She takes it from me, holding it in front of her. 

_ I take a deep breath here, cause damn…  _

"Are you listening?!" 

"Yeah… yeah I am… go on." 

Stuttering isn't good, but can you blame me? 

"Now, pull back the slide to load-- love, it's extremely important you keep it pointed downwards okay? Keep the safety on… remove it when you're about to shoot" 

I nod along.  _ Oh God…  _ this looked easier… take note:  ** _looked. _ **

"This is exactly why we use these for back up only… it's slower, and it's not good for long range targets." 

"What do we do then? I mean… we can't keep fighting them off with crowbars and screwdrivers." Chaeyoung added, holding on to her gun with a wariness that was evident in her taut voice. 

"We need…" Jennie walks further down the room, picking up a longer gun. "These." 

_ I've seen those before… in games… ri..rifles?!  _

"Is it even legal to carry one?" Jisoo whispered.

"I don't think we should really worry about that right now…" I whispered back. 

"This is a semi automatic assault rifle. It's heavier so not much recoil which is better. Hella better right now. It's also easier to aim, more rounds and…" 

"Cooler." I added. More like butted in. But. You get the point.

"Yes, way way cooler. Here." She hands one to Jisoo who looked like she'd been given a lifetime supply of her favorite milktea.

_ Don't tell anyone but I'm going to be nicer to Jisoo, from now on… much much nicer… just until she runs out of bullets… of course. _

"Grab as much magazine as you can carry, just follow the steps I've mentioned and we should be fine… and I mean it. Every, single instruction, please… and let's try not to shoot each other?" 

_ Wait-- she… she mentioned instructions… was it the same for the handgun? Where was I? What was I doing? Was I here? But I've been here the whole goddamn time … I --  _

_ " _ Lisa?" Chaeng was looking at me with a worried look "you okay?" 

"Dandy." I muttered. Oh… was I dandy. 

"Alright we should probably head o--" 

By now… you already know what that means right? The sudden cut in conversation… no? Well… it can only mean one thing;  ** _bad fucking news. _ ** Yeah. Fuck, right? 

The lights went out and a screech can be heard over the mall speakers -- high frequency, the kind that makes you wince real bad. The bad kind of white noise. 

Zzzt zzzt… 

"Area… if anyone…. Alive… come to…. 17" 

The announcement sputtered, like morse code. Cut off in most places you'd have to be a professional cryptologist to even understand half of that message. 

"What the fuck was that?!" Jennie flared up, all red in the cheeks, her hands over her ears to block off the annoying sound. 

"Uh… a public announcement?"  _ Damn, I finally understand what my friends are dealing with… with me… _

"17? What's 17?!" Chaeyoung was speaking in her high pitched voice. 

_ Great… now everyone's nervous and panicky.  _

"Uhh… guys… we can't see 2 feet in front of us, I think that's the bigger issue here?" 

At least one of us was still making sense. 

"We know Jisoo, stop pointing out the obvious. It's not helping." Jennie said through gritted teeth, throwing her a glare, or what looked like a glare cause let's be frank I can't see shit. 

Zzzt zzzt.

We all froze. 

"If anyone's still out there… Area… 17 … people… sanctuary… we…safety…" 

It's making sense. 

"It's a sanctuary guys!" I jumped up and down. 

"We heard poopoo…" 

"But guys? Safety?" 

"Yes Lisa… we know…" Chaeyoung was closer and patted me on the back. 

"Only… where the hell is Area 17?" 

"We don't know." Jisoo breathed out a loud, heavy, tired to the bones sigh. "We don't fucking know." 

Zzzt zzzt. 

_ I'm beginning to loooove that sound, not being biased and all. It's beginning to rub off on me in a very good way. Cause… good news? Duh.  _

"Anyone listening to …. Broadcast… 17… down… Gangnam… we… safety" 

"I'm beginning to be weirded out how that damn helpful announcement knows just what we need… it's creepy." 

"It's helpful Jisoo." I laughed. 

"Still creepy." 

"Gangnam… That's a 4-5 hour drive from here…" Jennie walked closer, close enough I could see her frowning. Eyes adjusted to the darkness around us. 

"Yeah. So?" Chaeyoung answered back, transferring her weight to her other foot. 

"We could make it Jen-Jen" I whispered. Thoughts of marshmallow hot choco mornings making me relax. 

"I know… except … we have to get outta here first." She muttered back. 

"We can walk out the same way we walked in?" 

"Can you please go be stupid somewhere that's away from me?" Jisoo retorted

What? Did I stutter? Am I wrong? 

"Hey! I'm right though! We go out the same way we walked in, cause the car is parked outside?!" 

"Can we just go?" Chaeyoung rummaged around and picked up another handgun, playing with it until it bathed the room with light.

"Baby you're a genius!" 

"More like lucky…" Chaeyoung chuckled and handed each one of us with the same gun. 

Now… how does one turn on the -- oh… okay… that easy… 

"Come on…" Jennie was already by the door and signaled for us to follow. Chaeyoung trailed after her, leaving me and Jisoo to flank the back. 

We walked cautiously…  _ or as cautious as we can be… which isn't much _ . 

We spilled out into the front of the gunshop and looked around. It was eerily empty, which was odd. Weren't malls supposed to be  _ filled _ with people? I know now wasn't the time to question that but… it didn't quite add up. 

"So? What now?" 

"We take the stairs… the power's out so elevators and escalators just won't do." Jisoo walked slowly, Chaeyoung looked at me and nodded.

Don't know what that nod was for, but yeah we're rolling. 

We haven't covered much distance when we heard frantic running coming towards us from the front. I see Jennie tense up and hold up her rifle, Jisoo doing the same and I could feel the adrenaline pumping making me all jittery, my own rifle shaking as I try my best to steady the damn thing. 

I pick up frantic chatter, no groaning… none of the usual zombie sounds… just pieces of hurried, normal? Human conversation? 

"Jen Jen, wait! Don't shoot!" She eyes me curiously but lowers her gun

"What now Manoban?!" Jisoo said through clenched teeth. 

"Those aren't zom--" 

Just as I was about to explain and be the nice gal for once (the nice gal that I always am *cough cough). Five women carrying a variety of garden tools, bloody, garden tools almost run up towards us. 

"Who are you?!" Jennie and a pretty looking woman asked in unison.

"I asked first!" Jennie glowered, her hands tightly around the gun. 

"No, we did" a blonde haired woman who kinda reminded me of Chaeyoung spoke up. 

"Technically you both asked at the same time but--" Jennie gave me THE look and i shut my mouth. 

"I'm Jennie, this is Jisoo, my girlfriend Lisa and that's Chaeyoung. Now. Your turn or we shoot." 

The tallest of them gave her companion, a cautious look. 

"Irene, these are my friends… Joy, Seulgi, Wendy and Yeri…" 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone and their family is safe. I know these are very trying times... Please, take time to breathe when everything feels so heavy and suffocating okay? It's okay to be feeling all these weird confusing emotions right now, so please do what you feel is best -- take a nap, call friends, pick up a new hobby, even taking in a quick breather by opening the window is fine. 
> 
> Everyone stay safe.


	6. That Wasn't so Bad, Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter my be written a little too messily cause I'm still getting the hang of it and writing this again, promise I'll make it up on the next chapter!

Well… there are at least seventeen ways this could have gone better. Literally. Like, I’m counting them right now. Seventeen possibilities and yet here we are. Yeah, well I guess the end of the fucking world can fuck things up like that. It’s already doing such a _ great _job. I’d be a tad disappointed if it starts being nice. 

“No, we are not taking them in the group.” Jisoo’s quite adamant that _ this _ is a bad idea. More like everything right now _ is _a bad idea, “They could… I don’t know bite us in the ass or… or… slow us down.” 

I take a quick peek at Jennie who has this blank face; and usually that means she's deep in thought right? Then there’s Chaeng who’s listening intently to what’s being discussed, and then there’s me. Don’t fucking judge, okay? I’m the only one who seems to not be in deep thought. I mean, what’s the point of losing precious time … standing here…. When we could’ve been on our way to that safe haven by now. Plus, who wouldn’t want more people on the team?

“Well babe, think about it… They could help us, it’ll be harder to die when there’s… uh, much of us to choose from.” Chaeyoung has this habit of looking away when she feels guilty about something and for once it’s kind of refreshing this gal’s being unabashed about her opinion. Oh, and it’s also quite fun seeing her disagree with Jisoo every once and a while. 

“You do know we can hear you right?” The tallest one in their group added, giving us a dirty look. 

We weren’t really subtle you see, but what’s the use of being subtle when you know… you’re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. Right? Like that’s for wussies and clearly not our style. We _ love _ being open. 

“You know what? We can go our separate ways,” The shortest one of the group added “I’m not sure why we’re having this discussion in the first place when we’re wasting time here.” 

She’s smart. I'll give her that. 

But the thing is… don’t tell anyone I told you this. I think… not that anyone in my group cares about what I think right now, I know… I know… it sucks but what can I do? Anyways back to the point you’re trying to distract me from, as I was saying… I think it’ll be a good idea to have them tag along. They’ve survived long enough to get here; which could only mean one thing. THEY’RE SMART. Yup, look at their weapon selection, they clearly have this well thought out. Sure, they look like shit right now, but we do too… so. 

“I think that’s a perfect idea babe.”

Wait? What? Was I thinking out loud again? Oh… how … inconvenient. 

“What do you say?” My lovely girlfriend held her equally lovely hand out for a handshake, cause when it’s the end of the world there’s nothing quite like a handshake to seal a deal. Am I right? Or am I right? 

Irene -- if I remember the name correctly, looked hesitant. I’d be too, cause we’re basically carrying guns at this point and well… we’re still strangers to them. At least for now. 

“Alright… but no funny stuff.” she has this small soft voice that’s quite addictive (please don’t tell my girlfriend.)

“What’s wrong with funny?”

“She means no wrong moves or someth--”

“I know. I was just trying to break the ice…” Jisoo clearly likes looking out for me even though I find it annoying.

“Well that’s a poor joke Lisa.” 

“Everything's a poor joke to you at the moment Chu.”

“Okay, you have a point.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that I always make a point?” 

She’s brandishing the gun around in the air and I can see all of them take a collective step back away from us. Pretty much a wise choice if you ask me. 

“Alright enough you two.” When the love of my life tells me to stop, I do one thing: stop. There’s no room for arguments on this one guys, sorry. 

“We heard about this safe haven over the --”

“Radio?” the tall woman asked -- I think she called herself Joy? Yeah… yeah…. Joy, such a pretty name-- fits her too! If you ask me, but you’re not asking… but I’m answering still anyways. 

“Yup.” Chaeng chirps in response and holy moly did Joy just blush? 

“And you guys are planning on going there?” The woman with smiling eyes asked. 

“Yeah, we figured it’ll be best if we all go. We don’t really plan on spending the rest of our lives killing these _ thingies.” _Jisoo’s being friendly all of a sudden. 

“They make sense Seulgi…” Blondie nodded, smiling widely 

Okay, so far I know the leader is Irene, or it seems like it. Tall and blushing is Joy, the cute bear, smiley eyes is Seulgi. That leaves Wendy… and Yeri. If I have to bet on anything it’s that blonde-haired cutie is Wendy… and the feisty small one is Yeri. Yup, betting my third brush with death on this one. 

“So… how exactly do we go about leaving this place?”

_ Awesome question babe. _

* * *

  
  


Let me give you the lowdown, so.. Plan so far is to get to the ground floor, get to the parking lot, find a bigger car or you know two cars at least, and then safe haven we go. Sounds easy, right? If only that were the case. Since when do heroes ever have an easy way out? That shit’s for villains. 

Now here comes the fun part, the whole mall looked empty outside remember? I think it was from the previous chapter? Yeah? No? Doesn’t matter now, really... I tell you it’s something very trivial at this point. You see… oh God, how do I tell you? You see….

Everything’s in chaos right now, I’ll tell you all about la—

“Here, take this!” 

Wendy, (yup I was right… blondie’s name is Wendy) and I were sort of working on getting out of this situation alive. Or you know. Not dead alive, or dead dead or whatever, just in one piece without bite marks whatsoever.

“What?! Are you crazy?? I don’t know how to use a fucking gun!” 

This woman’s really good at side-stepping an incredibly, humongous _ thing _built like a weightlifter. He’s probably one, or I don’t know a bouncer, or something. But the guy’s HUGE huge and Wendy gal here is so agile I feel like she’s an athlete. Could be an athlete or maybe was an athlete. Details aren’t really important right now, right? 

“Uhh… me neither.” This my dear audience is definitely the worst thing you could probably say to someone you just allied with during a zombie apocalypse. The worst thing you could do? Awesome question, throw your gun over to said ally who sorta mentioned they had no idea how to use one. 

“I DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE THIS!” She’s practically boring holes into my soul with her glare. Ooops, sorry? 

“Pull the thingy!”

“What thingy?!” 

Big guy–let’s call him SBS cause he has this jacket with those letters embroidered, yup SBS here has caught on to what’s happening and he has my girl Wendy trapped in a corner.

“Wait! Wait! Give it back!” I’m practically flailing my arms at this point.

“Kinda fucking hard to at the moment you dumbass!” 

Okay, so we started off at the wrong foot huh? 

“Oh God, Im so sorry!”

“You should be!” Have I mentioned she also has a very impressive scream, amazing vocal prowess… if only thingies can be killed by screams at this point. 

You see, let me backtrack a bit… before we both die or something.. I want you to know what happened. Apparently taking the elevator to get to the ground floor was the worst idea. We’re packed in–all nine of us inside, patiently waiting for the doors to open and _ ding! _It does! Best part? It’s one of those newer ones, very hi-tech, has this cute song playing in the background to keep you entertained and all, only manual on the damn door doesn’t say it’ll go ZIMZALABIM real loud when the doors open. What does Zimzalabim even mean? 

It’s all fun and all cause the song was very very very catchy. Made me go _ Zimzalabim zim-zimzalabim __Zim-zimzalabim zim-zim, _ and I don't mind the loud-ass ZIMZALABIM too except the center of the mall is filled with these _ things _and guess what? Zimzalabim’s the fucking mating call or something. 

We scrambled out the moment they whipped their heads towards our direction, rough estimate before all of hell went loose? Uhhh 30-ish? 

I heard gunshots and screams and I’m honestly so confused as to what to do. I hold on to the first thing I see and you know where this is headed. Wendy’s jacket. Apparently I pulled on it so hard she recoiled and we bumped heads.

“What are you doing?!” 

“Uhh… calling back-up?” 

And this is where I meet my new best bud, only I think the feeling isn’t mutual. Yet. 

I’ve grown fond of her, and there’s no way in hell or Hogwarts am I allowing her to die on my watch. Nope, not happening. 

I spied this axe from this box that has a huge “break glass in case of fire” written on top. Do you think it applies to zombies too? Heh. Break glass in case of zombie apocalypse–there that sounds better. I break it with ease, cause duh, _ adrenaline _. 

“Here, uh... stop moving... lemme ... uh get him off of you.” I meant _ that, I really need them both to stop moving. _You know me right? You know how incredibly unlucky I am with these. 

“I said stop moving Wendy!” 

“I don’t want to get bit dumbass!”

“I know!” SBS lunged and Wendy managed to slip in time to get herself out of his biting range (yes I know I'm making terms as I go, it’s literary freedom, apocalypse and all.)

“Stop fucking moving or I might chop your head off instead of his!”

Do I swing or not swing? What do you think? 

“NO!”

“YES! It’s either I swing or he bites! Fucking choose already!”

“Slide the axe over!”

“What?”

“Lisa slide it over!”

And I do. 

And boy, was it the most satisfying zombie kill of the century. YES, I’M SERIOUS. If you were there, you’d agree with me a hundred and ten percent. You see, Wendy was so so cool. I slide the axe over through the floor, she’s not that tall–please don’t tell her this, and so she easily crouches to pick it up. She sidesteps another bite attempt, swings the axe and slices through SBS’s head. It’s a clean cut folks. She’s THAT good. And yes, I’m actually glad I voiced out having them with us.

She looks at me with a surprisingly amused look, and the girl can be quite cocky too it seems. Only it’s short-lived and she’s storming towards me. 

“That.. That wasn’t so bad, right?” 

It really wasn’t, except her glare tells me otherwise.

“Okay, fine! Maybe not, but it’s not like the worst either, right?” 

“What do you want me to say? _ Thank you?” _

“Well… yeah?”

I think I deserve a thanks for at least providing the axe right? Right? Come on! I need some help here people.

“Seungwan-ah!”

“Lisa-yah!”

_ Great, just in time… my baby’s here. Do you know how scary Wendy can be? _She still has that axe with her! 

“Hyun! Where are the others?”

I’m honestly confused right now, like… isn’t her name Wendy and isn’t her name Irene? But I'm more confused at the way Irene’s clinging on to Jennie and how my lovely girlfriend is panting with the semi-automatic and moreover why they have such scared expressions on their faces. AND why Wendy was suddenly so shy and blushing? 

“Babe, give Seungwan your spare gun. Now!” 

Oh so… is Seungwan her other name? Or?

“Babe!” 

“Seungwan-ah!”

I jump in place and literally push the handgun into Wendy’s hands. We both look at each other confused.

“Now, come on! Chaeng and Joy are in fucking trouble!”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been away from my ongoing fics– I was on a writing hiatus with everything shitty happening in my life lately, I sorta lost track of what's happening in my other fics and I had to read through them to get the gist of what's happening and all. 
> 
> So hopefully this makes up for it? 
> 
> Also I'm sorry I know i said I'll go with Seulrene here, but Wenrene has captivated my heart. Also having Seungwan kill SBS was satisfying... cause honestly eff them for what they did >:(
> 
> Everyone, please have an amazing day and weekend ahead! Stay safe loves!


	7. Bet you didn't see that coming?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaeyoung and Joy —what could go wrong?

It’s _ crazy… _ but let’s be very honest here; crazy seems a little “inaccurate” a word to describe everything that’s been happening, yeah? When you’re at that point where you’re not sure if you’ll survive or not—or if you’ll end up being _ the _ zombie combo meal of the day, I think _ crazy _doesn’t really begin to cover it, like at all. But who am I to say? I’m just your regular run of the mill human here trying to survive, right? Who cares what I have to think? Obviously, you… but for discussion’s sake let’s just leave it at that, for now. 

Anyways, where were we? Ahhh yes, Chaeyoung… Chaeyoung… Chaeyoung… and Joy. What a combo, you know what’s better? Chaeyoung and Joy bickering, because when you’re surrounded by zombies, the smartest way to get yourself killed would be to scream at each other. 

Ayayay

We arrived just in time to witness joy sending one of the _ things’ _head off with her bloody shovel, screaming at Chaeyoung who looked very much offended at this point, “I told you not to use it!” 

Ayayay indeed.

"Well, excuse me for wanting to live another day!", you know it’s funny how Chaeyoung’s Australian accent comes out whenever she’s MAD mad. 

"You could've used something that doesn't make a goddamn sound! It's like ringing the zombie equivalent of a lunch bell! Do I look like food to you?”

Oh wow, Joy certainly knows how to ask the best questions because that shut Chaeng up real good. I can see my bestfriend blushing from way over here. Jisoo will say otherwise, but I think what’s happening is cute. Well… minus the zombies and the blood and the weird looking body parts scattered all over, y’know just them two bickering on a normal day. I think it’ll be fun. 

“No!” what she really meant was, norr, “Do you fucking expect me to watch us two get munched off of because you insist on using that ancient giant spoon of yours?” 

“This ancient giant spoon just saved your life!”

“Well this gun did the same too!”

I forgot to mention that they’re on top of one of the food stalls in the middle of the mall’s food court, surrounded by ten… yup you read that right. TEN _ thingies _. Now if they just stopped screaming at each other they’d probably make for a very good team. Not as good as Jennie and I cause hello? Have you seen the love of my love kill these fuckers? She’s straight out of a zombie movie, those heroines who manage to survive while the rest don’t. Maybe, they come a close third, because second place goes to Wendy and I, she’s hella awesome too. I won’t tell her now cause I think she still hates my guts but she’ll warm up to me, just wait and see.

“What do we do now?” Wendy whispered, smart choice, although I think the _ things _ are way too preoccupied to be bothered by us four at the moment. 

“I don’t think it’s smart for us to start shooting, who knows how many of them are lurking around here.” Jennie squeezed my hand, and guys… let me just say that it’s the most comforting thing aside from her kisses and hugs. “But we don’t have anything else that’s soundproof except for Wendy’s axe.” 

“My axe babe, I was the one who took it off the wall and threw—”

Irene’s looking at me with a glare that could rival Jennie’s so I guess this is my cue to shut up. 

“Okay, fine… Wendy’s axe.” okay, I’ll be technical here. 

“Dude, it doesn't matter who the axe belongs to… it’s probably mall property but whatever.” Wendy shrugs with… wait for it, was that a smile? Directed at me? See? I called it! We’re going to be best buds I can feel it. If, and that’s one giant _ if, _we survive this shit—which we will, hopefully. “But can we focus on Sooyoung and on your friend?”

“How good is everyone’s aim?” Irene looked at Jennie

“The love of my life has the best aim out of everyone.” I say matter of factly. I don't add anything else because I damn well know everyone else’s aim sucks. I mean this is just the truth. 

“I’m sure I don’t know how to use one, how about you Hyunnie?” Wendy’s looking at Irene with a small smile, that girl is whippedt. 

“I don’t think a gun’s much use to me right now, but I’m really good with an—”

“Axe.” Wendy finishes for her, which I think is really cute. 

“I think we’ll do really well if we fire at them at point-blank range, like really close…. Really really close.” My baby adds, 

“Uhhh...I love you … very much, I’m sure you know that already but I don’t think you should trust us with _ that.” _ I point at the semi-automatic, God, it’s so big. And God did that sentence sound so so wrong, “Chaeyoung and uh… Joy? Sooyoung? You guys have too many names by the way, so yeah, they’re both really close to those _ thingies.” _

“I’m well aware babe, I have eyes too you know?” 

It’s not that I’m being pessimistic here but, even at close range… One of us is bound to hit one of them by accident. And… as much as it pains me to admit it, all my money’s on that that _ someone _is going to be me. Sad, I know, but I’m just being realistic here. 

“You’re thinking of messing up, aren’t you?” My baby says softly, Oh God what did I do to deserve her? I must’ve saved someone in my past life to be given _ her _ in this present one; even though this particular timeline is going real shitty. Like real, real, real to the ends of the world and back shitty, but I’m not complaining. I have THE Jennie Kim with me. 

“Well… yeah. I guess—look, it’s just, I think it’ll do us all some good if we stay away from using the guns till we get a much better hang of it without the expense of other people’s lives. Especially best friends… and uh, new friends of course.” I answered back hastily, you know just enough to get her to stop worrying about me because she’s better off with a clearer head right now. 

“So? Like… what’s the plan then?” Irene moves closer to Wendy at this point. Not that you need a play by play of it but, if you could see the look of utter admiration in Wendy’s eyes right now. You’d best think the woman’s in love, and you know what? Maybe she damn well is, because her hand is wrapped around Irene’s shoulder out of instinct to warm them. Oh God, she’s just like me! 

“What’s inside your bag?” Wendy asks, partly out of curiosity I think… 

HOLY SHIT, I STILL HAVE MY BAG! AM I STUPID? 

Well, kinda… if you think about it more. I mean… who forgets they’re carrying a backpack filled with zombie killing stuff? Surely not… me, I was uh, waiting for the perfect timing to bring it to everyone’s attention. Which is conveniently happening, right now, as we speak. 

(I could kiss Wendy but I don’t think that’ll be healthy for me —given… Irene… and then there’s my baby but you get the point.) 

“Oh… this old thing? Uhm… well…”

“Oh God, we totally forgot didn’t we?” Yup, we totally did babe. 

“Forgot what?” 

Wendy is being persistent.. I have mixed feelings about that, but hey the woman’s a great ally so forgiven. 

“Yeah, yeah we did. So like I have…” I scrounge the inside of the bag and lo and behold, “We have three knives, two hammers, and a crowbar.” I look up and see Wendy and Irene contemplating. Real hard. You know, brows furrowed, bottom lip biting, looking at me acutely, the whole nine yards. 

“I think… I think I could survive with a knife.” Wendy sounds unsure. I don't blame her, in times like these who’s ever sure? 

“No I think you’ll be better off with the axe.” I said without thinking, I tend to do that a lot in case that isn’t as evident yet. 

Wendy shoots me an offended look or am I misreading that? Yeah… yeah I am, she’s pissed. To put it mildly.

“No, Hyun gets the axe.” there’s a hint of protectiveness in her voice,

“Okay.. okay… I get it already. Your baby gets the axe and you get the knife.” I hand it over to her and she looks away with a tinge of red on her face, gosh she’s such a mess. “Here, you better make it out alive.” 

Irene looks at her a little worried, don’t ask me why I said that. I’m not assuming. She really has that look on her face, I know because Jennie looks at me the same way whenever she tells me I’m a dumbass. 

“But, Wan-ah…”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Just stay close to me okay?”

Don’t come at me, I’m a diehard Wenrene supporter now. Yes, yes… I’m making up shipnames as we go, It’s fun plus they look great together and you gott admit it sounds great too. The ship name of course. 

“Okay then. I’ll have the—”

“You keep the gun babe, just in case.” 

Jennie takes one look at me and nods. What are soulmates for? Right? 

“I’ll have… the … hmmm…” There’s a lot to choose from, “the crowbar I guess.”

“Capital choice.”

See? Even Wendy agrees.

Alright, now that we have our weapons of choice, let’s see how the two of them are doi—

“Can you shove that thing away from me?!” 

Yikes, aren’t these two the screamers. 

“No!” again, dear audience, that is norr. “Why don’t you take that piece of rusted metal away from my face?!”

Now… not to be a killjoy and be the one to break their little petty fight, but uhhh… I think it’s better I point out that one of the thingies have managed to latch onto my dear best friend's leg, cause … urgh, have I mentioned she should’ve never let her guard down? That’s like a zombie apocalypse main rule by now. She’s just as stupid. Which is basically why we're best friends but that's besides the point. She's screaming right now. I would be too, if I were in her shoes. 

“Rosie!”, “Blondie!” 

My lovely girlfriend screamed at the top of her lungs; Joy manages to scream at the top of her lungs too. At the same time, talk about harmonization. 

Now if it weren’t life threatening I would’ve laughed out loud at the way the zombies seem a little disoriented at who to run to, to munch off of but lol they looked like mindless chickens for a bit before scrambling towards us AND a few of those fuckers scrambling to reach for them both. Take note, one of them already managed to. Imagine all five of them. 

See? Crazy just doesn’t work. 

It’s more of _ SHIT _ ! And _WHAT THE FUCK! _

Yup, when you know you have 89% chance of dying. Cursing just seems to be the perfect way to describe it. It’s the motherfucking cherry on top folks. 

Everything’s a blur. It’s always a blur, like have you seen zombie movies? You just don’t know what’s happening when there’s a zombie chase, the camera angle’s all over the place, and it’s just a huge headache trying to make sense of it all because ding! Ding! Ding! EXACTLY! Not even the main characters know what the fucks happening, so why should you? But fret not, because I’ll do my best to survive and make sure I get everything that’s happening down to memory. For posterity’s sake, of course.

So yeah… I’m drifting off course again. 

I see Irene hack into a giant thing that’s running off towards Wendy, a huge contender for zombie kill of the fic *winks*, but folks Wendy still has the title. She manages to bury the axe deep into the thing’s shoulder, just smack right in the middle. Boom! Chop chop she goes, I honestly wasn’t expecting this much force from someone so small. 

“Get the fuck away from her!” 

God, did she just hit a D7 note? 

The thing slumps to the floor with a wet thud, urgh, that sound just gives me the heebie jeebies. It thrashes a bit, and right where it’s at the point where it can’t do much damage it goes and drags Irene with it, because unfortunately Irene's adrenaline wears off and the axe is still buried into its putrid flesh and of course it thrashing brings Irene crashing. That rhymes, pretty neat I think, but yeah, Wendy runs off to bury her knife into the things head. Cause in her words; “No one touches my Hyun.” Sweet. 

I hear a whole lot of grunting coming my way. 

And guess what? 

I’m so damn lucky I get two simping over me. (I’m being sarcastic here.)

I take a quick step back just in time for the first one to try and get a hold of me. All this zombie nonsense has, might I say, improved my reaction time. 

“Fuck!” I call out into the air, like a badass battlecry.

I swung the crowbar with as much force as I could muster. Aiming straight for it’s head and (insert gruesome zombie skull crunching sound here) it hits its jaw with a loud crunch. It sends blood all over and its head to tilt at a very odd and disturbing angle. But damn is it still standing and scrambling to get to me. Talk about determination. I’d be too if I were hungry so I feel yah. The dude just won’t stop despite the head tilting thing going on, and his little ole friend who’s probably twice as hungry is running straight at me. What does a sensible woman who still wants to end up alive by the end of all this do at this point? Do I a. Run? B. Run? Or do I go with c? Run? Oh wait? What was that? D? All of the above? Oh fuck! Yes, I think you’re right! You’re a genius! 

And so I did. 

I ran for my life and they ran after me for their undead life. What a scene…

I heard gunshots, not the ones that go _ ratatatata _ that usually come from semi-automatics but the _ bang bang _ ones that come from handguns. Do you think it’ll be safe to try and look back and see what the commotion is all about? I understand there’s commotion everywhere right now, cause duh, the _ apocalypse _people! I meant the commotion that directly involves me. Kinda selfish if I phrase it that way, but you get the point. 

So yeah, regardless of what others might think and even if they point out it’s a bad decision for me to. I look back. Of course, it’s safe to say I’m still running without much incident here and I see Jennie trying to shoot the fuckers coming after me, but (and I’m saying this on a very serious note…) she’s having difficulty trying to aim. I can see why, cause one wrong shot and _ boom _I go knocking on heaven’s door —not as a zombie meal. 

“Fuck! Lisa! I … I can’t aim well!” 

Damn, I could hear the tears in her voice, the unsaid everything's... from the _ I love you’s _ to the affectionate _ dumbass _, and am I not one right now? 

I still have the crowbar in hand and if I stop and swing I have a 50-50 chance I’ll get the _ thing _on the head. A clean blow that I know will for sure kill it —but 50%. Do I take it? Is that enough of a probability to not get bitten? I try and do the math and … I see Irene at the far end with Wendy running towards where Jennie was and I think they’re contemplating on running towards Joy who’s not in a pretty position too before all of zombie hell broke loose. and part of the conflicted frowns on their face indicate that they… seem to be contemplating to help me out too. Gosh isn’t this touching. 

(quick side note: you know running while thinking and introspecting should be a talent… and boy am I gifted in it)

Anyways…

I take my chances and stop. This seems to have taken the zombie dude by surprise because he seemed to stumble or did he just pop a vein in his decomposing leg or something? I’m not one to dwell because hello? This just raises my chances to 70%, and so I swing. And whooo did I swing like hell. The crowbar gets in contact with his gaping nose and it goes _ sploosh, _ he staggers like a confused chicken and drops on the floor with a _ wham. _

“Hell yeah!”

You gotta celebrate the little things in life you know? 

But of course, like all stories go… it doesn’t end there because broken neck Eddie —yup, I named the guy, so what?—is out on a vengeance and he springs out to try and grab me and I go do what I do best, which you all should know by now. 

I FUCKING RUN! 

I’ve got to give you guys some sort of visual here, make it easier for you to picture out what’s happening even though that really shouldn’t be my priority at the moment. Yeah, so like, I’m running, right? Towards where? Towards … drumroll please… Rosie and Joy! 

Yes! You read that right! My bestie! And her… disgruntled and mad new… accomplice? Acquaintance? Honestly I don’t think they’re on friendly terms yet. 

But yes, Rosie who’s busy screaming at the top of her lungs and trying to kick the _ thing _off of her leg and a pissed off looking Joy who’s holding on to her shoulder. 

“Lisa! Help!” 

Oh, they finally saw me. Should I be… flattered? Or concerned? 

Nah, I shouldn’t be. Those two seem to be doing such a pretty swell job at engaging their zombie audience that they didn’t even know I was running towards them with Eddie. 

“Would you stop squirming!” 

“Are you fucking crazy?! This _ thing _is trying to eat my leg and you want me to calm down?! Are you serious?!” 

“Don’t be an idiot! Of course I am! It’s fucking hard holding on to you when you’re moving too much!” 

At this point, I want to detail how absolutely cool and stupid the next scenes are; 

Joy let's go and Rosie screams at the top of her lungs that, I kid you not, is high pitched it could break glasses. 

Now at this point you’re probably thinking; _ oh no! Chaeyoung! Will she make it? She was my favorite! No she can’t die! They have to make it till the end! It’s OT4 or nothing! _— right? 

But guys! Joy grabs the semi-automatic! She headbutts Ed! Using the gun! (Yes I named him too, makes it enjoyable more). It’s so hard a hit that he lets go, disoriented. Serves him right, if you ask me. We don’t want zombie sympathizers here, not in this household. Yup, I’m watching you… 

Okay, back to the drama unfolding. 

Rosie looks back with unbelieving eyes because I think what’s going on in her head is _ what the fuck she actually saved my life? _

Yes… Yes Chaeng, Joy did and she was being a badass for it. 

She doesn’t give everyone watching any time to breathe, nope this girl is the literal personification of rage. She pulls the trigger and off goes the gun. 

_ Ratatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatata _

There are grunts, there’s the sickening sound of bullets on flesh, wet thuds and splashes, and screams from everyone else except pissed off Joy. 

(for anyone wondering, I’m safe guys, I took cover just in time she went rage mode on Eddie. Jump to the side and dive behind a table not within her shooting range. The same exact thing my baby, Wendy and Irene did at the far back)

There’s a collective silence right after and, a suffocating scent of gunpowder and old blood; urgh the most disgusting thing ever. 

She drops the gun and smirks. 

“I guess you’re right, that ain’t a useless piece of metal after all.” 

You’d think at this point Rosie would be thankful? Nope, my woman isn’t giving up without a fight. She’s a born fighter! 

“What the fuck was that for?! I could have died!”

“But you didn’t.”

“And?! Am I supposed to be happy about that?”

“Well duh? Who wouldn’t be? I wasn’t informed you’d rather be a zombie big mac! If I did I would’ve let go!”

“Fine! Thank you!”

Gosh, does this bring back flashbacks between Wendy and I. 

Both women were huffing and I gingerly went closer. Joy’s still holding the gun… I don’t want to be at the receiving end of it. 

“And who the hell are you?” She snaps over at my direction. 

Oh great, it’s _ introduce yourself _all over again. What is this? Kindergarten? 

“Oh hi, uh.. you must be Joy... what a ... joy to finally meet you, uhm face to face. I’m Lisa, in case you you know, forgot about it. Not that I’m one you’d remember but…” she looks even more pissed, oh great, “And oh there's Rosie posie. Hi Rosie!” I wave stupidly cause the damn gun is making me nervous “uhm... why is she bleeding?” 

There’s a gash on Rosie’s arm that doesn’t look serious but hey, we gotta be sure right? 

“Because she's an idiot.”

Okay… feisty

“I didn't know that idiocy caused people to just start spontaneously bleeding.” 

I have the best comebacks remember? If only they were more consistent you know? (like maybe once every quarter of the year *winks*)

“I think it's a new phenomenon.” She says matter of factly, a smile breaking out on her face.

“It’s not a bite Lisa.” Rosie pipes up, shooting daggers over at Joy who just shrugged.

“Oh thank God you guys are fine.” Irene’s voice made me jump.

_ Where did these guys come from? _

I feel Jennie’s warmth all over me and I lose touch of what’s happening with the rest because ohhhhh she feels so warm and it’s home and she smells so good, she’s so calming and —

She kissed me, sorry about that. I had to indulge in it. 

“Lisa…” She whispers into my ear as she hugged me again, “I’m so glad you’re safe.” 

“I love you.” I manage to blurt out because, God… do I do, so very much.

I could feel her smile on my skin and the quick kiss on my cheek before she screams, “Do that again and I swear to God I’ll be the one to kill you!” 

“What? I was just trying to survive! What did I do wrong?” 

And here is where she kisses me again and I taste strawberries and vanilla and clouds and her. 

“But be more careful! I … I don’t want to lose you, okay? Just, stay fucking alive. I need you.” 

Someone coughs to get our attention and urgh! If I found out who it is they’re in trouble. 

“Are you guys like… done?” Wendy asks with a knowing smile. 

“We really need to go.” Rosie adds in. 

“Has anyone seen where Jisoo ran off to?” Jennie’s worried voice fills my ears

“I think I saw her dragging Seulgi and Yeri over to the grocery section.” Joy seemed to be in a better mood now. 

I guess, off we go? 

Jennie wraps her hand in mine and gives me a reassuring smile, wiping something off of my face. 

“We should go, it’ll be dark soon.” She says and everyone nods. 

  
  


* * *

\- end (for now ;D)  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol well it's been a while, yeah? 
> 
> Enjoy, I guess? :DDD
> 
> Stay safe everyone ♥


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